“The New Strong-Willed Child” by James Dobson
In Dobson's frightening book “The New Strong-Willed Child” he
recommends beating both children and dogs into submission. It
begins with a hair-raising story of
how
Dobson whipped his little dog with a belt for “defiance”: see pages 2 & 3 Whipping a dog
is illegal in most US states!
Dobson
believes most children are “strong-willed” and "defiant", and
includes
these bogus charts about
his opinions: see page
7
He believes a child's will should be "conquered" and parents must "win"
(p.50 & 53).
Dobson
calls children many insulting names in this book: brat,
bratty, pugnacious, spitfires, defiant, confirmed
anarchists, hot lava, Goody Two-Shoes, sneaky, horrid, little
revolutionaries,
defiant, contentious, double trouble, hardheaded as mules,
tough-minded, little
fat-fingers, defiant, toughie, irritating, pack of adolescent
wolves,
confirmed revolutionary, Hurricane Hannah, little chameleon, negative,
sour,
sullen, ill-tempered, prissy, stick of dynamite, flighty, spoiled brat,
goof-off, obnoxious, fireball, snippy, defiant, rambunctious,
difficult, testy,
groaning lump, nasty, all legs, all nose and ears, cantankerous, rude,
unruly,
stubborn, defiant, hostile, mischievous, gangly legs, foolish, selfish,
insane. Did I mention “defiant”? On p. 6 he makes the
bizarre claim that some
children have “crooked wheels” and that’s why they are “defiant”!
Dobson
has some particularly disturbing ideas about infants, claiming that
some are
“defiant upon exit from the womb” (p.x) “They come into the world
smoking a
cigar and yelling about the temperature in the delivery room” (back
cover). Dobson also says “A healthy
baby can keep her mother or father hopping around her nursery twelve
hours a
day (or night) by simply forcing air past her sandpaper larynx”
and “Don’t be afraid to let her cry.” (p.94)
Dobson
says children cause “constant battles” (p.xii) they “pull stunts” and
“they
just love to go toe-to-toe with their parents.
They get their kicks by playing power games.” (p.17). Dobson
claims “most children seem to have a
need to take on those in authority.” (p.39)
He says “children are naturally inclined toward rebellion,
selfishness,
dishonesty, aggression, exploitation, and greed.” (p.45)
So
what does Dobson recommend parents do about all these defiant,
rebellious
children? Hit them, of course! On p.15 Dobson tells the
story of a mother
who spanks her 5 year old daughter and locks her in the garage for
throwing
some stones at cars. On p.18 he tells the
story of a mother who slaps her 18 month old 9 separate times for
reaching for
a candy dish. On p.20 he tells the
story of a mother who counts to three “and if the kids had not minded
by then,
they would have to face the wooden spoon.”
On
p.61 Dobson says to spank a 6 year old for calling his parents “hot
dog” or
“moose” and on p.63 Dobson says to spank a 7 year old for lying.
On
p.120 Dobson quotes an anonymous poem “Grandpop seized a slipper and
yanked
Junior ‘cross his knee. Grandpop hasn’t read a book since 1923.”
Then Dobson says “Dear ol’ Grandpop. He may have been a little
old-fashioned in
his ideas, but he certainly knew how to handle Junior.”
On
p.123 Dobson states his beliefs about corporal punishment: “Many
children
desperately need this resolution to their disobedience” and says
spanking
actually prevents child abuse because when parents spank they
don’t “get
more and more frustrated” and “blow up”.
However, research by Dr. Murray Straus and others show that 70%
of child
abuse cases start out as spanking!
On
p. 125-130 Dobson inserts an article that claims the research on
corporal
punishment is mostly “opinion-driven” and “flawed” and “spanking is not
abuse”
if done “appropriately and not in anger”.
This article also recommends hitting a toddler who hits,
or the
toddler’s “hitting will persist or even escalate.”
On
p. 135 Dobson is asked this question: “Q: How long do you think a child
should
be allowed to cry after being punished or spanked?
Is there a limit? A: Yes,
I believe there should be a limit. As
long as the tears represent a genuine release of emotion, they should
be
permitted to fall. But crying can
quickly change from inner sobbing to an expression of protest aimed at
punishing the enemy. Real crying usually
lasts two minutes or less but may continue for five.
After that point, the child is merely complaining, and the
change
can be recognized in the tone and intensity of his voice.
I would require him to stop the protest
crying, usually by offering him a little more of whatever caused the
original
tears.”
On p.136 Dobson recommends using a switch or paddle to beat children:
click
here to read page 136
On
p.137 Dobson says “The spanking may be too gentle.
If it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t motivate a child to avoid the
consequence next time. A slap with the
hand on the bottom of a diapered two-year-old is not a deterrent to
anything. Be sure the child gets the
message.”
On
p.138 Dobson makes this incredible statement: “If corporal punishment
is
banned, it will be a sad day for families, and especially for
children!”
For
the record, Dobson calls positive discipline “repackaged permissive
claptrap”
“ridiculous advice” “horse manure” and “wimp parenting”
(p.37-39). Dobson has a psychology degree received in
the 60’s. His training was before all the research that
has
been done showing the many harms of corporal punishment of
children. Dobson is not a doctor, and he’s not
ordained in any religion. The American
Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the
American
Medical Association all disagree with Dobson’s views on discipline.
Please
write a review on Amazon of “The New
Strong-Willed Child”!
Click on "Write a review" (scroll down a
little) on this webpage: http://www.amazon.com/New-Strong-Willed-Child-Through-Adolescence/dp/0842336222/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/103-4330814-3615840?ie=UTF8
For Barnes & Noble go to BN-book-page
(
Barnes & Noble requests that you leave out personal attacks on
Dobson and keep the review to 500 words or less).
Thank
you for helping to protect children from Dobson’s dangerous advice!
