"Creative Correction: Extraordinary Ideas
for
Everyday Discipline" by Lisa
Whelchel
In this
bizaare and
abuse-filled book, former actress Lisa Whelchel calls children these
cruel
names: ankle-biter, pests, “a handful”, raucous, haphazard,
messy,
pesky, hyenas, arrogant, and “filled with schemes to do wrong.” Yet on
p.193
the author says name-calling isn’t allowed in her house!
Denigration
of children is coupled with bribes of money and
sweets, and a menu of frequent and various punishments. And although
hitting
is supposedly “not allowed” in the author’s house (p.193), and she
claims she
“isn’t violent” (p.170), she frequently spanks her 3 children. Her
prescription
for hitting is on p.183-185.
Other,
“creative” boot-camp style tortures are recommended on p.146-161.
Apparently
all these “Creative Corrections” don’t even work,
since on p.274 Whelchel admits “My kids still act up and disobey”
and
spanking “didn’t work” on her son Tucker (p.171) Whelchel
says her
grandmother asked her not to spank (p.157). This book is recommended by
Focus on the Family. Whelchel has no formal training in
psychology or child education.
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Here are
more quotes from this “creative” child abuse
manual:
p.xiv Whelchel’s son, “Tucker, like all of
us…comes by his
sin naturally. In fact, the roots of misbehavior can be traced all the
way back
to Adam.” (This is said after describing Tucker being noisy and
climbing rails.
Tucker has ADHD.)
p.5 Whelchel talks to a fellow actress and “was tempted to
slap her with a wet wipe.”
p.18 After Whelchel’s son says his half-naked father looks
like he’s “about to die on the cross like Jesus”, she claims: “Our
children
closely identify us with God.”
p.22 “All children
are born with foolishness bound up in their hearts.” “When we allow our
children to determine the outcome of a situation, even subtly, it
weakens their
trust in us.”
p.25 “I grew up in the South, where I was taught to reply,
‘Yes, sir’ or ‘Yes, ma’am’ when following instruction.”
p.26 “King Solomon, who was the wisest man who ever lived.”
(What happened to Jesus?)
p.27 “Disobedience comes in many forms, including whining.”
p.28 “Teaching our children to obey us and our words is
primarily to teach them to obey God and His Word.” “Because the rules
I’m
instilling are God’s, I no longer have to respond with ‘Because I’m the
mom. That’s
why!’ I can calmly tell my kids, ‘Honey, I didn’t make up these rules,
God
did.”
p.58 “discipline the flesh” p.59 “correcting the flesh” p.62
“bodily discipline”
p.75 Whelchel approves of filling a boy’s room
with manure!
p.79 “God…loves us too much to let us go unpunished.”
p.99 “Stealing a cookie from the jar when Mom isn’t
looking is easily punishable with a slap on the hand.”
p.101 “Whatever we deny our children now is for their good
later.”
p.109 Bribes:
her son with baseball cards, her
daughter with pennies. p.113 Chuck E
Cheese tokens, stickers, toys. p.114 Trip to McDonald’s for a “Happy
Meal”,
chocolate chips. p.115-116 ice cream, fruity cereal, fruit salad, pie,
gumballs, candy, money. p.120 pencils, soda pop, sleeping with mom and
dad for
one night, going to a Saturday matinee, choosing the next pizza
topping, having
a pillow fight, going to work with Dad, eating dessert first, or
receiving a
“get out of jail free” (correction) card. p.123 More bribes: videos,
decoration
for child’s bedroom, necklace, gold earrings.
p.121
If a child forgets to say “thank you” for candy, they
“must give the candy to Mom and Dad.”
p.133 Talks of “molding” children, using “screwdriver”
“hammer” and “sandpaper” techniques.
p.134 Whelchel claims the “Holy Spirit” gives her ideas on
“what tool to use” on her children.
p.135 “The hearts of our children are ‘filled with schemes
to do wrong’” “Next time they act up in public, shock them by leaving
your
half-full shopping cart and taking them directly to the car for
correction.”
p.136 “We need to develop and enforce in our children a
habit of obedience the first time. It may take some cracking down in
the
beginning.” “If you’ve established boundaries ahead of time and
consequences for crossing them, be prepared to follow through.”
p.137 “One effective correction is to rescind the privilege
of playing with friends. Unfortunately, this punishes the friends,
too…for
example, last month, Tucker lost the privilege of playing with his
friend
Josiah after school because he told the baby-sitter no when she ordered
him to
his room. This upset Josiah terribly, because he had been waiting all
week for
this day.”
p.138 “As we walk along together shopping, I will suddenly
give them silly commands that they must obey without arguing, such as
‘Walk
backward,’ or ‘Stop and touch your toes,’ or ‘Give me a kiss.’
Occasionally
I’ll throw in a real command, like ‘Don’t touch that,’ or ‘No, you may
not have
an Icee.’ My favorite curve, however, is to say no to some reasonable
request,
like ‘May I go to the bathroom?’”
p.139 “Administering real correction—punishing a child
when she has disobeyed—has to hurt a little to be effective, but that
doesn’t
mean it has to be boring.”
p.143 “Here’s a solution for a perpetually messy bedroom:
Explain to your child, ‘I cannot bear to look at this room anymore—it’s
too
messy! I’m going to turn off the circuit breaker so I can’t see it.
When it’s
clean enough for me to tolerate, let me know and I’ll turn your power
back
on.’”
p.143-144 “Having a struggle at bedtime? Try this: Next time
you’re dealing with the usual bathroom trips, cups of water, giggling,
and
talking, call off bedtime. Declare, ‘Nobody has to go to bed tonight!’
Inform
them that they may stay up as long as they like—the operative words
being stay
up. Then have each child stand still in the middle of a separate
room of
the house.”
p.145 “I heard of a single father who served five plain
Brussels sprouts to his picky eaters. They had 10 minutes to eat them
or they
would get the remaining eight in the pot. This made such an impact on
them that
he only needed to refer to the ‘brussels sprout’ punishment when the
children
were tempted to complain about their meals again. When our kids don’t
want to
eat what I’ve cooked for dinner, Steve and I won’t make it an issue.
They don’t
have to eat it as long as they’ve tried at least one bite. If they
refuse to do
even that, however, they just go hungry.”
p.157 “Two summers ago I drove with the kids, my mother, and
my grandmother in a camper from California to Texas. My grandmother,
‘Nanny,’
asked me not to spank the children while on the trip because it upset
her.”
p.170 “I received plenty of spankings growing up, and I’ve
never felt tempted to get violent because of them” ???????? p.172
“I am grateful for the gift of
spanking.”
p.171 “As I hinted in the first chapter, the whole
catalyst for this book—fueling my need for creative correction—came
when my son
was about six or seven years old. Suddenly, spankings, so effective in
the
past, just didn’t work on him anymore. They actually made things worse.
It
didn’t matter how calmly and lovingly I administered the spanking; it
would
send Tucker even further out of control, and we would both end
up
crying.”
p.193 “These are the ground rules at our house: No
hitting (!), biting, kicking, pulling hair, or any other forms of
physical
retaliation. No name-calling (!), humiliating, sarcasm, or
verbally
wounding another person. No stealing, destroying, or borrowing personal
property without permission. Breaking these rules will result in
laps,
pushups, interrogation, or solitary confinement—sometimes literally!”
p.203 “Require the two siblings to go ‘toe to toe.’ Have
each child face the other with their toes touching; they must remain
that way
until they’re no longer angry.” “Use
a pair of toy handcuffs to join two siblings who can’t seem to get
along. It’s
really fun to watch them try to eat dinner like this, or read a book,
or take
the garbage out, tasks I’ll often assign them.” “Hugs, even forced
ones,
are good at breaking down barriers.” “Make each child stand at opposite
ends of
the yard. Then have them yell ‘I love you!’ back and forth 20 times.”
p.206 “If you have a son who insists on getting physical to
solve disputes, buy him a pair of boxing gloves. The next time things
begin to
‘come to blows,’ pull out the gloves and put them on the boy. Don’t
allow him
to take them off for the rest of the day. This makes simple tasks like
eating
dinner, brushing one’s teeth, and putting on pajamas rather difficult.
You can
even cook popcorn for an after-dinner snack. (Be sure to pull out the
video
camera!)
p.207 “If they are unable to cooperate with one another,
they must play in the backyard, whether it’s 30 degrees or 100 degrees
outside.”
p.208 “Got any old hand or ankle weights in the garage?
Have your child wear them around his ankles or carry them around
for the
day as punishment for being a bad example to a younger sibling.”
p.209 “Tie the arguing siblings’ ankles together as though
they’re in a three-legged race, and don’t let them part until the issue
is
resolved or dropped.”
p.209 Whelchel turns this verse upside down: “Proverbs
17:1—‘Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of
feasting,
with strife.’ This verse works wonders for bickering at the dinner
table.
Simply remove the dinner plates of the arguing siblings and replace
them with
the heels of the bread loaf, served on a napkin.”
p.244 “A wise parent will let her children stumble and
fall.”
p.265 Sample prayer for a child “Dear God, Thank you that my
parents love me and that because they love me, they correct me when I
sin. Thank
you that the spankings drive out the foolishness in my heart.”
p.276 Her children
“are not allowed to leave their rooms in the morning before 7:00, even
if they
wake up earlier.”
p.287 At 8:15pm, after Whelchel’s daughter has gone to
bed, she “comes downstairs, complaining of having ‘cranky legs’. I tell
her
she’s going to have a ‘cranky bottom’ if she doesn’t stay in bed.”
Please write a
review!! Click on "Write a Review" (scroll
down a little) on this webpage: http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Correction-Lisa-Whelchel/dp/1589971280/sr=8-1/qid=1157029777/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-4330814-3615840?ie=UTF8
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Want
to write to Lisa Whelchel directly? First, go to http://www.creativecorrection.com/
Then click on “sign up for my monthly
newsletter”
at the top right of the page. Then, click on “Email” on the right.
There you
will see “Coffee Talk” where you can write to Whelchel.
THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING OUT
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